Welcome to my brand spanking new "blog",
I've avoided reading blogs for years - I hated the idea of people sharing intimate information with the world, and I couldn't stand the way "blog" sounds. But somehow today, i've realised that it does have a "raison d'être". In my case, I haven't written in years and now my body is itching with the need to express creativity through words.
And so now here is my first post- one that I hope will help you get an idea of who I am.
At the age of 19 I left the USA for France, got married, and learned to speak French. At the age of 26 I got divorced, decided to stay alone in France, and hoped for the best. Many people have told me I've lived an amazing life, and that they admire my bravery. It might sound impressive, but somehow i've gotten through life sitting on my butt. What i've really done is avoid change as much as possible and tried to keep things as comfortable as possible. I'm 31, recently remarried and am in the middle of a career change. I'm finally understanding that life looks different when you aren't sitting down - and that it requires real action like walking, running, and jumping.
It's funny how I analysed and dissected my life without actually really SEEING it. It's kinda like pointilism art - up close we can see the dots, realise that there is a pattern to the colors and positions of these dots. We might even be able to see an object or two. But If you don't step far away from it - you can't see the entire picture, nor the story it tells.
Today I spent a lot of time observing the people around me. We spend our time avoiding the reality of our own lives. We prefer bitching - about politics, religion, what's wrong in the world, who's doing what, who SHOULD be doing this or that. Or we simply watch other people's
problems (be it real or on tv) - decide they are wrong, say that we could handle it better, or thank our lucky stars that our lives aren't like that. Then we go back to the bland or emotionally trying jobs and lives that we have learned to hate. And then we bitch some more - even if only to ourselves. And why do we do this? We convince ourselves that we are bored or are passing the time, and sometimes we convince ourselves that we are making a difference with our bitching, advice, or even charity work. All of this because we don't want to see the truth. We don't want to see our own lives because -reality bites.But if we want to really achieve something, if we really want change, then the truth is ...we have to start with ourselves.
The expressionist
